If Only They Knew

Have you ever wondered, "If only they knew..."?

If you haven't, I encourage you to think about what you wish others knew that you think would make this life better.

If you have, you're not alone.

“Maybe it’s always because I’m always so transparent and out there. Probably more than I should be. I don’t know. I feel like since I get a lot of people saying, “I wish I had your confidence.” I am over here like, “Fuck, I’m not confident at all.” I’m terrified every single day. If only they knew how scared I am too. I have every body image issue that everyone else has. I am just as afraid as everyone else. I beat myself up just as much as everyone of my clients. And, I don’t think they realize that.”

"I'm not sure what to do without them. It's the kind of relationship you hope for when you marry. If only they knew how much of an impact was made of me after all of the years. The beach walks. The advice for family relationships. The shared beers. What a human."

“I’m decent. I’m average. I make the team. I’m perfectly fine with myself though. At one point in time I wasn’t. I was insecure with myself and a lot of things. But, you know what? It’s life. You got to live with it. You live and you learn. You only have one life to live. Live it to the fullest. Be happy at all costs. Coming from where I come from in the Delta and losing a lot of people along the way, young and old. Especially the younger cousins that were really close to me that never got to live their life. That’s why. You never know when it is going to be your time. Ball ‘til you fall."

“If only they knew.. not the ones in my family. They know all too well. They meaning everybody, it doesn’t matter what gender you love. My first marriage was an abusive one. I was the victim. I was gaslit. I was beat. I was cheated on. The family budget is still fucked by the other. Her mother ended up with custody of the kids. A bunch of bad short-term relationships. A couple of good short-term relationships. Then, when you finally find someone that you connect with. One you can have a conversation with no words. You move together. You breathe together. And then to sit and watch as dementia takes him. Physically as well as mentally. And then the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking loneliness. If they only knew that that with my already existing depression and my unique allergy and obsession with alcohol... If only they knew how honest I was when I swore, I didn't want to wake up the next morning.”

"If only they knew, how much I don’t want to go back. How much I don’t want to live in my past. How much I want to change my thought patterns, from those that no longer serve me to those that do and always will. If only they knew that there are no regrets in life. There is only a continued evolution of knowing something other than. Something more, something better. If only they knew that each and every experience leads to a better experience for ‘all’. My life story is one that I can now look back upon with tremendous appreciation, knowing the continuation of that which has been created because of what I have experienced. Most will tell a story of what has become as a result of the very things in which we have experienced in turmoil. Isn’t that the perfection of life experienced? That moments, new and better knowing for each one who is coming forward into this world now. I like to write. I want to tell you my story. My story is one of so very many, simply because we all experience trials and tribulations. If only they knew how beneficial this process is. It takes all to a new thought, a better idea, a compassion that we did not know without such experiential happenings in our lives. This is having an experience that is all at once horrible until you see all that has become wonderfully and amazingly good from it. All of the stories aside, if only they knew who we truly are, they just might know themselves better.”